Most of you will already be well aware that about 2 and a half years ago my wife Polly succumbed to ovarian cancer after a hard fought 3 and a half year battle with it. From a personal perspective, it was the darkest 3 and a half years of my life and frankly, nothing prepared me for the final stages, it’s just plain ugly.cutcake 250x173 Its Wedding Bells for Mal Emery and his New Bride

On the other hand, I have of course survived, in most part because of the love and support offered by a handful of individuals, I sense the need to publicly name them here.

First and foremost, my marketing maniac daughter, Denva and her then girlfriend Anita. They were there for me every bit of the way, adding a very small bit of normality to a totally abnormal life. Will admit to consuming far too much grenache shiraz together, on their porch.

Heck, they fed me, watered me, gave me an ear to talk to and a shoulder to cry on and I didn’t do the dishes once, not asked or expected to. My daughter, for the last 31 years has been my greatest blessing and achievement.

I have to admit, she was an each way bet in her early teens. It was either going to be highly constructive or highly destructive, luckily for me, it turned out to be constructive.

There are a few others that should not go unmentioned, namely Ian Marsh. My friend and General Manager today, who in his wisdom, having seen me on my knees, transported himself, his wife Jenny and daughter Brooke from NSW to the other side of the continent, Western Australia, to run my business.

Jenny even dragged a horse float with 2 horses in it across the Nullarbor. What a girl! All to save a sinking ship. Basically, with Ian leading the way, my business as it was then, has been totally reinvented, more importantly, I’ve been reinvigorated.

If you benefited by my teachings or still benefit from them, you should thank Ian Marsh because I doubt very much that I would be doing this today if it wasn’t for him.

I’ll bundle the rest up, Matt and Amanda Clarkson, Andrew and Daryl Grant and the rebel himself Pete Godfrey, stood up for me in more ways than one. Can’t leave out my mate David Glendinning, whose own wife succumbed to the same disease at 41 a few years earlier. Dave was there for me many times as I fought to understand the disease, learning from his experience.

In fact, I raised and donated about $130,000 to Ovarian Cancer Research to help with early detection all in the name of David’s wife, Madeline Glendinning.

The irony of all this, is while I was raising money and donating to Ovarian Cancer Research, my wife had the disease. You go figure.

Finally, I can’t leave out my very best friends John and Cheryl Denton. They supported Polly and I through thick and thin and remain my dearest friends today.

These lifelong friends showed their character when it was needed most, lucky Mal.

You know, there is someone else who I can’t leave off this exclusive list. That person is Lou Mladineo, a devoted, loyal, tolerate and personal assistant back then and still to this day. Lou saw my daily struggle more than anybody did, she was there when my heart was beating out of my chest and when the tears were streaming down my face.

You could ever be as lucky as me to have be equivalent of my Lou. If you have had the privilege of talking to her on the phone or meeting her personally, you would agree with me wholeheartedly.

I have to acknowledge the part that my clients made in my survival and recovery also. They represented a form of sanity in the insane world I was living in, mostly when I drove out of the driveway everyday to go to work, I could separate the two worlds.

So to did, taking my clients money for fee for service which held my feet to the fire, and got me out of bed in the morning when I didn’t want to.

So thank you to you all for that.

There is something else that got me through and it’s an inner truth that has never let me down that may very well be instructive to you.

The truth is, and I have proved it over and over and over again in my life, that is behind ALL adversity is a greater and better opportunity. Gotta tell you, at the time it didn’t feel that way.

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t wish what happened to Polly and I on anyone but from my experience, every cloud does have a silver lining.

Looking back, that 3 and a half years felt like a lifetime. When Polly passed, I had to rediscover normality, I had forgotten what it was like.

I’ll never forget the description a psych gave me to describe my plight. About 6 months into all of this, I sought professional help, not just for me, but so I could be more help to Polly. He described it this way and it’s very apt.

“You are on a horse, it’s a wild horse. It has no saddle or reins, it’s out of control, you can’t stop it or get off it and you are hanging on for grim effing death”.

And he added on the second visit “by the way, I can’t help you and there is nothing wrong with you. This will all end one day and you will start a new life”.

His words have rung in my ears for years and their truth has now come to pass. You see my friends, and you must be my friends because I would hardly bare my soul in this way to total strangers, on the 17th day of January 2012, I am taking myself a new bride, her name is Ying and she is Chinese.

The truth is, I like being married and what a lucky man I am!

The fire has returned in many more ways than one. Where I had dropped my bundle on the house or the life had been drained from it, we are now planning and renovating together as we begin our new life.

Imagine that, being able to plan, that was one of the things I missed most in the darkest days of those 3 and a half years. You see, you couldn’t plan a thing, not even a cappuccino.

The thought of better things to come kept me going, as did the fact that I knew it. So my message to you is this…

I believe behind ALL adversity there is a greater and better opportunity.

I’m not asking you to rejoice in your problems or your liabilities, they are no fun, don’t let anybody tell you differently. I am however, asking you to TRUST ME on this one. You see, like all of you, I’ve been on both sides of the fence.

Your problems and your liabilities are opportunities.

I’ve seen it with hundreds of my clients, from screwing it up for years, moments away from bankruptcy, blaming everyone and everything but themselves to first generation millionaires and multi millionaires today.

Without exception, none of them would be where they are today if it weren’t for the problems they first endured or the action they took when the solution appeared.

Of course, in a business sense, no need to wait until things get this dire, instead, choose to be one of those very rare individuals who are constantly reinventing themselves and their business when seemingly there is no need.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you and your family and I wish you a relaxing and restful break… I suspect it is well earned.

Looking forward to working with you in 2012 and helping you create more success.

Mal Emery

Posted on December 15, 2011 - 08:35 PM

- Updated on December 15, 2011 - 08:35 PM


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Denise Eagle

Denise Eagle

  Dear Mal,

God you are an awesome copywriter!

If they cry, they buy are the words that ring in my ears when I think of you.

I sit here crying as I read your heart felt letter.

And... of course... congratulations to you and Ying for your marriage in January.

May you have many more years of happiness!

You will always have my support Mal. :-)

Warm Regards,
Dec. 20, 2011, 3:19 AM · 

Stephen Kovacs

Stephen Kovacs

  Congratulations Mal & Ying,

Thank you for sharing your journey, may your 'being of happiness' and 'planned re-inventions' give all of us inspiration to do the same.

Have a great Xmas, New Year and Wedding !!!
Dec. 20, 2011, 3:20 AM · 

Peter Safe

Peter Safe

  Mal,

Wow what a bio!

It is great to hear that there is a very happy ending.

Here's wishing you and Ying a fantastic day on the 17th January 2012, and a
wonderful and happy life together.

All the best

Peter Safe
Dec. 20, 2011, 3:21 AM · 

Jeff Hooley

Jeff Hooley

  Congratulations Mal!

Best wishes to you and your bride to be Ying.

May you both share the love, friendship that has bought you together for many years to come.

Stand apart as the pillars of the temple but come together and quiver as the strings of the lute!

All the best

Jeff. Hooley
Dec. 20, 2011, 3:22 AM · 

onessa onessa

onessa onessa

  God bless you Mal, and thank you for this beautiful baring of the soul.
I wish you and Ying every ounce of joy and happiness you can possibly find together.
Onessa
South Australia
Dec. 20, 2011, 3:24 AM · 

Chaz Rizzo

Chaz Rizzo

  Hello Mal and Lou-Wow ,Wishing You both the very best in Love and all that You do.Congratulations to the both of,You.Chaz. Rizzo. such a Beauti Full and Heart rendering story.thank You.
Dec. 20, 2011, 3:25 AM · 

John Mu

John Mu

  Congratulations uncle Mal and Aunty Ying!

Thank you for the story, it really touched me.

Strangly I too have walked a similar path as when Krisztian and I went our separate ways, it was a very dark few days. I picked myself back up as I have always done, but this time consulted a psychic who told me I would be speaking on my feet 6 times a year, moving out of my dads place (after 18years), releasing my new book, and I will be very successful and helping and improving the lives of a lot of people. I was always a sceptic but now i am a firm believer as most of what he said has come true or about to. I have never told anyone about my psychic experience but I very comfortable telling you uncle Mal.

Congratulations once again and I am always greatfull for you and Ian accepting me as part of your SEO Faculty. You guys have a special place in my heart.

PS wishing you and Ying a Merry Christmas and a prosperous new year!

Kind regards,
John Mu
Dec. 20, 2011, 3:26 AM · 

Desmond Muller

Desmond Muller

  Hi Mal,
Although you don't know me personally i would like to thank you
personally.
Firstly thank you for sharing this great news. It's like rebirth really
a new start so to speak.
And then there is the free ticket that you gave me to the business
in May.

And finally thank you for coming out of the darkness after your wife's passing.
We need more people like you who are the guiding light that illuminates the path for people me
still on the journey.

Thanks Mal

Desmodn
Dec. 20, 2011, 3:27 AM · 

Ross

Ross

  Dear Mal first Good onya Congratulations!! I have been through similar I lost my wife at an early age 35 and it's taken years to recover. Am married again and rebuilding my life I meet you in Brisbane and 1 piece on imformation you gave me off the cuff has helped me survive this year. Thanks and bless you heaps Ross Wilkins
Dec. 20, 2011, 3:30 AM · 

Ashley John Morrell

Ashley John Morrell

  Hello Mal,

Congratulations & All The Best! I hope it all works out really well for you both!

Cheers.
Dec. 20, 2011, 3:36 AM · 

Jeff Baldock

Jeff Baldock

  Hi Mal

Thanks for your inspiring email. Over many years, I’ve received encouragement from your emails in this small business, and appreciated the business you’ve given us (as SoundPack & previously QuickCopy Audio). As a recipient of an unrelated Bone Marrow Transplant 8 years ago, with several difficult years of recovery (but, gratefully improving each year), I concur that extreme difficulty produces a sharp focus on what is important and what is a waste of time and life – sort of an ‘80/20 Pareto Principle of life’. As you say, while there seems to be no joy in the midst of the struggle, fruit is produced; unseen initially, but lovely nevertheless.

I particularly liked the tribute you paid to Denva and the others who cared for you in your time of need, for those who share our load are critical. So often they go unheralded and unthanked.

Congratulations and all the best for your new life with Ying.
Regards
Jeff Baldock
Dec. 20, 2011, 3:36 AM · 

Sharyn Doolan

Sharyn Doolan

  CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You both ... you ALL deserve abundant happiness.
You so often save the lives, marriages, health and wealth of everyone else..
It's great you now get some of the love back.

I wish you a very very happy life together!

Merry Christmas... and a Wonderful New Year!

:)
Dec. 20, 2011, 3:37 AM · 

Linda-Clare Chilvers

Linda-Clare Chilvers

  Congratulations Mal, it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. I wish you both all the happiness life can bring.
Yours in business and life
Linda-Clare Chilvers
Dec. 20, 2011, 3:38 AM · 

Alison Halupka

Alison Halupka

  Hey Mal,
This is a beautiful message. Thanks for sharing.
And we'll be there with bells on.
Love to you both
Ali & Danny
Dec. 20, 2011, 3:39 AM · 

Dominic Kinsella

Dominic Kinsella

  Congratulations Mal,

Wishing you and your new bride all the best and here's to many happy years together.

Merry Xmas and Best Wishes for the new year.

Regards,

Dominic.
Dec. 20, 2011, 3:39 AM · 

Mind Synergy

Mind Synergy

  That is a truly moving message Mal, I wish you and Ying a long happy & healthy future, my mentor PJM always told me The same hammer that smashes the glass
Dec. 20, 2011, 3:41 AM · 

betterpromo - Jon

betterpromo - Jon

  It seems that you have indeed been blessed.

May I also add my Congratulations to you Both, for a Long & Enduring Happiness as I believe, you have earned it Mal Emery.

Thank you for sharing this with so many of us, as it moved me to tears.
Dec. 20, 2011, 3:42 AM · 

Nicola Billing

Nicola Billing

  Hi Mal
I would just like to say that was a beautiful email you sent out. Congratulations on your forthcoming wedding and may the 17th Jan be the start of a wonderful life for you and Ying.
Best Wishes
Nicola Billing
Dec. 20, 2011, 3:45 AM · 

Cydney O'Sullivan

Cydney O'Sullivan

  Congratulations Mal! I wish you and Ying the very, very happiest life together.

Thanks for all you've done for all of us. Thanks for training Joanna Martin and Daryl and Andrew, Janet Beckers and so many people over the years who have now gone on to be inspirations and teachers to the rest of us.

Thanks so much for sharing your happy news,
Dec. 20, 2011, 4:18 AM · 

Jason Savage

Jason Savage

  Hi Mal,
I wish you every happiness in your new journey, simply because you deserve it !!
Thanks for your work so far.

Kindest Regards

Jason Savage

Loganholme Best Agents
Dec. 20, 2011, 4:19 AM · 

Craig Chitty

Craig Chitty

  Hi Mal
I have heard you speak many times, and have heard the heartbreak in your voice when you have spoken about loosing Polly, and the fundraising / awareness events you have done for cancer.
I am absolutely delighted to hear the wonderful news that you're getting married, its about time a top bloke like you had some good news.

So wishing you congratulations, a very merry Christmas and a happy safe new year.

All the best for the festive season
Craig
Dec. 20, 2011, 4:19 AM · 

David Lukas

David Lukas

  Hi Mal!
My Name is David Lukas.
I am so touched by what you have shared in this email that i cry-ed! That is for your loss and for coping with it all and for finding love again. And through it all you had some amazing support. It certainly has been a powerful reminder about our morality and to treasure the people in our lives because one way or another we all eventually loose people we love. I think this is the most important reminder about Christmas.
Mal you are an amazing man and Congratulations on your success and your new wife. How wonderful! :-) I wish you well for 2012 and beyond. Thank you again for sharing your story with us.
Warmly David :-)
Dec. 20, 2011, 4:22 AM · 

Catherine Tatlock

Catherine Tatlock

  Hello Mal,

Congratulations to the two of you and thank you very much for the heart felt message....very inspiring indeed.

I wish you both all the happiness in the world.
Dec. 20, 2011, 4:23 AM · 

Stephanie Ho

Stephanie Ho

  Congratulations Mal. When Ying clipped you on your bike, it wasn't Chinese bike riding . It was Chinese for I like you
Dec. 20, 2011, 4:23 AM · 

Lindy Bonnett

Lindy Bonnett

  Hey Mal

That’s great news – I wish you and Ying all the very very best in your next phase of life. I guess it feels a bit like emerging from a cocoon into a brighter and shinier place.

I will raise a glass to your continued journey upward and onward!

Best wishes
Dec. 20, 2011, 4:24 AM · 

george regan

george regan

  Mal, May God Richly Bless You and Your Upcoming Marriage to Ying.

A great letter. Thank you for your courage to bare your soul.

You're a real man.

Bless You and Yours Again,
Dec. 20, 2011, 4:26 AM · 

brian pollett

brian pollett

  Congratulations to you both – Mal & Ying.

I saw Ying at your recent Adelaide Seminar and she
seemed to be a most lovely young lady – I am sure
you will both be very happy together.

Our very Best Wishes for your January Wedding
and your Future together.
Dec. 20, 2011, 4:28 AM · 

Jenni Proctor

Jenni Proctor

  Dear Mal,

I know only too well that I am just one of thousands who would have received your email, but I am still moved to respond personally.

Having observed you before, during and since those very dark years (yes, some of people out there in internet land do observe you, with empathy, as a person, not just a marketing guru!) your email touched me deeply.

Your honest appreciation of the important people in your life was beautiful to read, as was your reflection on the role of tragedy and coping with it.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and every happiness to you and Ying. From her cultural heritage comes the delightful phrase “Wishing you one hundred years of good companionship”...Well that might put you at a ripe old age, but the sentiment is lovely!

Warm regards,
Jenni Proctor
Dec. 20, 2011, 4:29 AM · 

Hans Felden

Hans Felden

  Mal
Happy Christmas
Thank you for sharing with me
Congratulations on make the transformation
As they say “if it doesn’t kill you it will make you stronger”
I wishes you well
And Happy Christmas
Hans Felen
Dec. 20, 2011, 4:29 AM · 

Hadi

Hadi

  Congrats for the wedding Mal, and all the best for the new adventure.. =D
Jan. 28, 2012, 3:58 AM · 
 
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